{"id":6506,"date":"2021-11-15T20:30:00","date_gmt":"2021-11-15T18:30:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psyke.es\/el-equilibrio-entre-el-dar-y-el-tomar-2\/"},"modified":"2022-02-11T14:17:08","modified_gmt":"2022-02-11T12:17:08","slug":"el-equilibrio-entre-el-dar-y-el-tomar-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psyke.es\/en\/el-equilibrio-entre-el-dar-y-el-tomar-2\/","title":{"rendered":"\u201cEl equilibrio entre el dar y el tomar\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

En toda relaci\u00f3n entre adultos (igualmente capacitados), es importante que exista un cierto equilibrio entre lo que uno da y recibe en su interacci\u00f3n. Si alguien solo da o solo toma, hay riesgo de caer en dependencias y juegos de poder que intoxican la relaci\u00f3n.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En este sentido, no debemos dar m\u00e1s de lo que el otro pueda tomar y est\u00e9 en condiciones de poder devolver manteniendo su dignidad, ni debemos tomar m\u00e1s de lo que podemos compensar de alguna manera.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tomemos la respiraci\u00f3n como analog\u00eda: inhalamos y exhalamos de manera proporcionada, pero si solo exhal\u00e1ramos -es decir, si solo di\u00e9ramos- acabar\u00edamos exhaustos y vac\u00edos. Para mantener la energ\u00eda fluyendo, es preciso tomar aire del ambiente y devolverlo equilibradamente.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

En situaciones de desequilibrio, el dador sacrificado se ubica en la inferioridad, ocultando su \u201cnecesidad de sentirse valioso\u201d, intentando ser imprescindible. Esta situaci\u00f3n asim\u00e9trica retroalimenta su baja autoestima y lo encarcela en un bucle que refuerza su conducta. El dador compulsivo se ubica en la superioridad, ocultando su \u201cnecesidad de sentirse reconocido\u201d, intentando tener al otro dependiente, argumentando amor absoluto.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Quien se siente en deuda no est\u00e1 libre y quien se siente con derechos sobre el otro, tampoco est\u00e1 libre. El dar, pues, ha de ser voluntario. Cuando se hace as\u00ed y aparece la gratitud, es dif\u00edcil distinguir qui\u00e9n es el que da y qui\u00e9n es el que recibe, pues ambos celebran el hecho con la misma intensidad, porque nadie est\u00e1 siendo manipulado.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pablo Neruda nos habla del dar y el tomar en el amor rom\u00e1ntico, pero puede acompa\u00f1ar todas las relaciones afectivas que se precian de ser libres y armoniosas. Pongamos consciencia…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 \u201c\u2026si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejar\u00e9 de quererte poco a poco.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habr\u00e9 olvidado.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del coraz\u00f3n en que tengo ra\u00edces,
piensa
que en ese d\u00eda,
a esa hora
levantar\u00e9 los brazos
y saldr\u00e1n mis ra\u00edces
a buscar otra tierra.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Pero (\u2026)
si cada d\u00eda sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme (\u2026)
en m\u00ed nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada\u201d.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Extracto del poema \u201cSi t\u00fa me olvidas\u201d de Pablo Neruda
Imagen de la escultura artesanal \u201cThe King Frog\u201d de Shaun Tan para una edici\u00f3n especial de Los Cuentos de los Hermanos Grimm
Recomendaci\u00f3n: \u201cEl arte de amar\u201d de Erich Fromm<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sugerencia: Meditaci\u00f3n Metta con uno mismo y con los dem\u00e1s\u201d en www.psyke.es<\/a>. Ayuda a desarrollar la autoestima sincera y el respeto hacia uno mismo y los dem\u00e1s incondicionalmente, disolviendo las barreras que nos separan. Nos conciencia a no proyectar en los dem\u00e1s nuestros problemas. Es el ant\u00eddoto a la envidia, la ira, la verg\u00fcenza y el aislamiento…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

En toda relaci\u00f3n entre adultos (igualmente capacitados), es importante que exista un cierto equilibrio entre lo que uno da y recibe en su interacci\u00f3n. Si alguien solo da o solo toma, hay riesgo de caer en dependencias y juegos de poder que intoxican la relaci\u00f3n. En este sentido, no debemos dar m\u00e1s de lo que […]<\/p>\n

Read More… from \u201cEl equilibrio entre el dar y el tomar\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":5972,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[82,81],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6506","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-therapeutic-reflections-personal-development","category-therapeutic-reflections-personal-growth"],"yoast_head":"\n\u201cEl equilibrio entre el dar y el tomar\u201d - Psyke<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.psyke.es\/en\/el-equilibrio-entre-el-dar-y-el-tomar-2\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"\u201cEl equilibrio entre el dar y el tomar\u201d - Psyke\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"En toda relaci\u00f3n entre adultos (igualmente capacitados), es importante que exista un cierto equilibrio entre lo que uno da y recibe en su interacci\u00f3n. Si alguien solo da o solo toma, hay riesgo de caer en dependencias y juegos de poder que intoxican la relaci\u00f3n. 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